


Never Knew Until You

by hlravensnest_archivist



Category: Highlander: The Raven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-31
Updated: 2001-12-31
Packaged: 2018-12-16 21:51:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11837751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hlravensnest_archivist/pseuds/hlravensnest_archivist
Summary: Note from Daire, the archivist: this story was originally archived atHL Raven's Nest. Deciding to give the stories a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onHL Raven's Nest's collection profile.





	Never Knew Until You

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Daire, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HL Raven's Nest](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HL_Raven%27s_Nest). Deciding to give the stories a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HL Raven's Nest's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hlravensnest/profile).

Never Knew Until You by Christina

| 

_Never Knew Until You_

By Christina 

**Part One: Leaving**

“Amanda said that I can go stay with her in Paris,” the girl said to the two guys standing before her. 

“Really?” one guy said as he came to stand beside her. 

“Yes, really. Oh, don't give me that look Duncan, it's not like I'm going to get into any trouble,” she said. 

“Um, yeah sure. Everytime you and Amanda are together it only means that both of you will get into trouble and I have to bail you out,” he said. 

“Not this time. It's different. I've changed. I'm wiser now and I know what I want and who I am. Besides, there's this guy up there that I haven't seen since I was sixteen and you and Amanda brought me down there to celebrate my sixteenth birthday. Remember?” she questioned. 

“Oh yeah, I remember,” he said as he narrowed his eyes. “You and Amanda got arrested for stealing pearls out of the bank safe box.” 

“Really, I thought that was when they got arrested for stealing that Porsche?” Methos said. 

“No, that was in New York and it was an ex of Amanda's. Oh, that was so much fun. Wow, I can't believe all the crazy things we did and only got caught twice. That's only because we let them catch us. As for the pearls, we were both cleared on those charges because they were really ours,” she said as a matter of fact. 

“Yes, I know. I was the one that cleared you, remember?” Duncan said. “You're an adult now so you get to choose what you're going to do and I get to say that I think you're making a big mistake. We have an argument and you leave anyway. A few days later you call me for help,” he said. “There I think I got it covered.” 

“Yes, Duncan you do,” she said sarcastically. “I'll prove you wrong this time. I won't call you for help the whole time I'm up there. In fact, I'm not even gonna need your help, but if you're so worried about it, then come with me.” 

“I don't think that's such a great idea.” 

“Aww, Duncan, are you afraid to be around Amanda? Afraid that you can't stay out of her bed?” she teased. 

“The chances of me ending up in Amanda's bed are better than your chances of not ending up in jail,” he said. 

“So is that a yes?” she asked. 

“No, it's a no. I have things to handle here, but if you need me, you know where to find me.” 

“Yes, I do. Chicken,” she said as she walked into the bedroom and began packing her clothes. 

“You know she's going to get into trouble,” Methos said. 

“Yes, I know, but what can I do? She's an adult now.” 

“Yes, she is and a very beautiful one at that.” 

“Duncan, I need you!” Autumn shouted from the bedroom. 

“See, she needs you already,” Methos remarked. 

Duncan just smiled as he walked into the room. “What, you need me so soon?” he taunted. 

“Yeah, help me close the suitcase.” 

“I thought you were only staying for two weeks?” he said as he closed the suitcase. 

“Yeah, but you gotta be prepared in case of an emergency,” she said as they both carried her luggage to the doorway. 

“I could give you a lift, you know,” he said. 

“I know, but I hate good-byes so I'll take myself in a cab. I love you, Duncan,” she said as she kissed his cheek and they shared a tender hug. 

“I love you too, Autumn,” he said. 

“Methos, you take care of him for me; don't let his head get cut off or anything. When I come back I want to see both of you in one piece,” she said as the two shared a hug. 

“I'll guard him with my life,” he said. 

“Thanks. I'll see you two in a few weeks,” she said as she walked out of the door. 

* * *

**Part Two: Hello Paris**

“Nick, she's going to be here any minute,” Amanda said as they rushed into the airport. 

“Relax, she's a big girl, she can handle herself from what you've told me,” he said as he neglected to tell her that he knew her once. Autumn Desoto. She had been in his dreams since he meet her and that was more than nine years ago. She was only a child then; now she would be an adult. Even more beautiful now. 

“Nick! Hello? Are you listening?” Amanda said breaking through his thoughts. 

“As if I couldn't listen to you,” he remarked 

“Look, there she is. Autumn!” she yelled as a young woman walked over to her. 

Nick watched from his spot as the two women embraced tenderly. Wow, she was beautiful even more so now than before. For a moment he caught a glimpse of the young girl he met years ago. She had her eyes, her smile, but her body was different. Her hair was longer. Her clothes grew tighter and shorter. She seemed to glow with confidence. He watched as the two made their way to him. She looked at him and smiled sweetly at him. 

“Autumn Desoto meet Nick Wolfe,” Amanda introduced them. 

“You've changed a lot in what, ten years?” Autumn said as Amanda looked at her with surprise. 

“You two know each other?” she asked. 

“Yeah, we met here when I was sixteen. That year you and Duncan brought me here for my sixteenth birthday and my parents came too. Then they got in that huge fight. I ran out and found Nick.” 

“Autumn, you have definitely changed a lot,” Nick said as he ran an appraising gaze over her body. The short white shirt and the tight faded jeans really looked great on her. Her long brown hair hung down her back. 

“Yeah, I have. Of course Duncan would much rather I stayed a little girl,” she said 

“I bet he would,” Amanda said. “We've given him so much trouble.” 

“Yeah, in fact he said 'I bet in a few days you'll call me and need my help'. I told him I wouldn't, so I'm on my best behavior these next two weeks,” she said. 

“Duncan your brother?” Nick as they got into the car. 

“No. He and Amanda practically raised me from a child. They took care of me when my parents were killed in a car crash.” 

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,” He said as they drove back to Amanda's. 

  
“So, where's Lucy?” Autumn asked as she walked in the door. 

“Right here. How are you?” Lucy asked as she rushed over and greeted her with a hug. 

“Oh, I'm fine. You've met Nick haven't you.” It was more of a statement than a question. 

“Yes, I have. Autumn, it's so good to see you,” Lucy said. 

Autumn put her bags in the room that she would be staying in and took a shower. When she came back Nick was gone. She frowned a little then shrugged as she reached for food. 

“Where did he go?” she asked. 

“Oh, he said something came up and to tell you he'd get back in touch with you before you left,” Amanda said. 

“Oh.” 

“So, do tell me about Nick and you. You met him when you were sixteen and obviously you still have the hots for him. Is that the main reason for you coming here?” she asked. 

“No, actually I came here because I missed you. Nick was just an added bonus, but I'm not interested in starting anything with him, not yet. We split last time because he didn't think I was old enough to know what I was getting into. You know I went to him the last night we stayed and told him I loved him and asked him to make love to me. I was willing to let him be my first.” 

“Well, what happened did you...” Amanda asked. 

“No.” 

“What? Why not?” she questioned. 

“Because he said I was to young and I should go back home and stay with my parents. I told him I wasn't going to leave him and he said if I knew anything I would turn and leave, I told him I wouldn't. Then he picked me up and….” Her voice faltered when a knock came at the door. 

“Damn, I hate that. I'll be right back,” Amanda said as she went to the door. “This better be good,” she said as she opened the door. “Nick!” 

Autumn stood up at the sound of Nick's voice. 

“I forgot my phone,” he said as he grabbed his cell phone from the end table. 

“Nick, don't worry, I'm not here to try and rehash what we had. Trust me, I don't want to go through that embarrassment again. I would like to get together and talk about what's new in both our lives though, if that's okay with you,” Autumn said. 

“Sure, I'll come by tomorrow and we'll do lunch. It's nice seeing you again, Autumn,” he said as he walked out the door. 

* * *

**Part Three: Facing Your Fear**

The next few days Autumn only saw Nick once and that was when they had lunch, which was cut short because Nick had to leave. Although Autumn told herself she couldn't help but fall for Nick all over again. It was like she was sixteen years old again. Only this time there was no fighting parents and she was older. He could use that _You're too young to know_ crap like he did before. Remembering that made a small shiver go down her spine. She couldn't believe how she had practically begged him to take her that night. She closed her eyes, trying to push the memory away then suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. She gasped and jumped off the couch. 

“What the…. Amanda! You scared the crap out of me!” she said. 

“Sorry. You okay? You seemed a little upset earlier,” she said as she sat beside her friend. 

“Yeah, it's just seeing Nick again reminded me of how naïve I really was when we first met,” she admitted. 

“I just can't believe he threw you out of his room,” she said. 

“Guess I don't have what you have.” 

“No, you were sixteen when he threw you out, that just means that he was thinking with his brain. It's a good thing he did throw you out. You know if he hadn't you two would've finished what you started and Duncan and your father would've killed Nick.” 

“No, my father wouldn't have cared. He would've said I was just like my mother and thrown me out. God, Amanda, I hated growing up with them,” she confessed. 

“Is that why you turned to Nick?” Amanda questioned softly. 

“You know, now that I think about it… yeah, that's why I basically threw myself into Nick's arms. To forget I was a little girl and for a moment I could have.” 

“But then you would've woken up and realized you made a huge mistake; only this one you couldn't take back,” Amanda said. 

“Yeah, so I guess you were right when you said it's a good thing he threw me out,” she agreed. 

“Only now you're not a little kid anymore, so if you still want Nick I say go for it. Don't let your fears get in your way or you'll be asking yourself 'what if' for the rest of your life,” she said as her phone began to ring. “Oh sorry I gotta get that. You just think about what I said, okay?” she said as she picked up her phone. 

“Okay, I will.” Autumn went to her room to give Amanda some privacy. _Amanda's right, I should just give in and have Nick for a least one night. The night I never got with him I could have. No real emotions involved. Just plain hot sex,_ she thought as she laid down on her bed. 

“Hey, Aut, I've gotta run downtown, you wanna come with me?” Amanda asked as she came into Autumn's room only to find her fast asleep on her bed. “I guess not,” she said as she turned and left. She left a note for Autumn before she walked out the house. 

* * *

**Part Four: Confessions**

Autumn woke with a start. She wasn't sure what exactly woke her up, but once she was awake she heard voices coming from the living room. Slowly, she crept out of bed and made her way to the living room. She saw Nick sitting at the dinner table. _Maybe I'm still dreaming,_ she thought as she walked closer to him. She rested her hand on the back of Nick's chair He turned around to her and smiled. 

“Good afternoon, sleeping beauty. How are you feeling?” he asked. 

“Um, okay, I'm defiantly not dreaming. You never say those things in my dreams,” she said out loud. 

“So you dream me about huh?” he said, teasing her. 

“What? Huh? Oh, um, yeah once...or twice....” She stuttered as she felt heat rise in her cheeks. They were probably red now. 

“That's okay, because I dream of you all the time,” he confessed as he turned back around. Autumn's eyes widened in surprise at his confession as she made her way to the otherside of the table. 

“Where's Amanda?” she asked. 

“She had to go downtown and said that if you need her to call her. Lucy went with her.” 

“How did you get in?” she questioned. 

“I came up before they left. I told them I needed to talk to you and they said fine. I didn't have the heart to wake you,” he said softly. 

“So, how have you been?” 

“I've been good. You?” he asked as he reached across the table and gently touched her hand. 

“I've been pretty good. You live here in Paris?” she asked as she suddenly found it hard to breathe. 

“Yes. You gonna stay when your two weeks are up?” he asked as he brought her hand to his lips. 

“Um, yes. I mean no. I can't. I'm needed back in the States.” She tried to focus on what he was saying. She pulled her hand away from his and put them in her lap. “You shouldn't do that.” 

“Why? Does it scare you?” he asked. 

“No, of course not. Nick, you hurt me once and I can't let you do it again,” she admitted as he walked over to her side of the table. 

“I promise you this time I won't throw you out,” he said as he kissed her deeply. 

Her heart was pounding hard in her chest and she was finding it hard to breathe or even think. He hands went up to his shoulders and she returned his kiss. His hands went to her hips as he deepened the kiss. Their tongs intertwined with each other and both were lost in the feelings they had, so neither one heard the door open and close. 

“Oops sorry. Don't mind me, I'm just going to my room, that's all,” Amanda said as she came in. 

Nick slowly moved from Autumn and looked down at her. He gently touched her face. 

“I'm sorry....” he started. 

“Don't…don't apologize for what just happened because it was just as much me as it was you,” she said. 

“No, you misunderstood…I'm not apologizing for kissing you I was apologizing for throwing you out all those years ago. I know it took a lot of courage for you to come to me that night, and for me to just throw you out like that wasn't what you needed. You needed me to understand and I didn't. I threw you out because I was scared.” 

“I was scared too Nick. And then when you picked me up and put me outside your door as you closed it in my face, I was devastated. I thought I wasn't good enough, so I stayed away from guys until I was about twenty and my boyfriend at the time thought that it would be nice if we both lost it to each other, so I did. It wasn't the greatest thing in the world, but at least I knew a guy wanted me. He didn't throw me out or tell me I was too young,” she said softly as Nick's beeper went off. 

“Damn, it's the station. I've gotta go.” 

“Of course. I'll see you around Nick.” 

“This isn't over yet. I've waited more than nine years to see you again, and I'm not giving you up a second time,” he vowed as he kissed her again and left. 

* * *

**Part Five: Running Scared**

Autumn went to her room and pulled out her suitcase. She began throwing clothes in it left and right, not bothering to fold them or anything. She had to leave Paris and get away from Nick. If not, then she would give in to him and herself. That was one thing she couldn't do. Yeah sure, at first she was thrilled to see him again because she foolishly thought that she could be just friends with him. Her door opened and Amanda walked in. 

“What's going on? Where are you going?” she asked. 

“I'm leaving. I'm going back to Duncan's,” she said as she closed her suitcase. 

“What? Why?” Amanda asked. 

“Because if I stay here I'll make that big mistake you were talking about,” she confessed as she threw all her make-up into a small bag. 

“But honey, you can't run away from him. You're going to have to face him and your feelings sooner or later.” 

“Amanda please. I want to go,” she said as a tear slid down her cheek. 

“Alright sweetie, I'll take you to the airport. What shall I tell Nick?” she asked. 

“Tell him that something came up.” 

“You want me to lie to him?” 

“Yes,” she said. “That's everything.” 

“Alright, come on, before Nick decides to come back and you two have a huge fight,” she said as they left. “Oh, wait, you go ahead down to the car, I have to leave a note for Lucy and tell her where I went, okay?” she said. 

“Okay, but please hurry,” she said as she left. 

“Alright,” she said. “Nick, you'd better answer your phone.” She said under her breath as she picked up the phone and dialed his number. She waited; it rang and rang. “Damn it,” she muttered as she got the answering machine. “Nick, hey it's Amanda. I just called to tell you that Autumn's going back home. I don't know what you said to her, but she's really upset. I think it would be a good idea if you came to airport within an hour. She needs to see you before she leaves.” She hung up the phone and left. They arrived at the airport and had to wait two hours until they finally called Autumn's flight and still Nick was nowhere in sight. 

“Bye, Amanda. I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer.” 

“I know. I'm going to miss you,” she said as the two hugged. 

“I'm going to miss you too,” she said as she turned and went toward her plane. 

A few minutes later her plane took off and Nick finally showed up. He ran up to Amanda. “Where is she?” he asked. 

“She's gone, Nick. She went back to the States.” 

“What? You let her leave just like that? Amanda, how could you? I've waited nine years to see her again and now she's gone,” he said. 

“Nick, did you ever think that maybe she got scared? You hurt her nine years ago and she has never completely gotten over that. Now all of a sudden you're back and you're kissing her, making all kinds of promises. Nick, she got scared. If you had shown up an hour ago then you would've been able to stop her, but no, you had to wait two hours to come down here.” 

“If you had told me the name of the airport I would've been here an hour ago.” 

“Nick, I think she just needs her space so we should give her that.” 

“No, she had nine years to think about everything. I'm not risking it again,” he said as he went to the front desk. 

“Nick, what are you doing?” Amanda asked. 

“I'm going after her.” 

“Then so am I,” Amanda said as they both order their tickets. 

* * *

**Part Six: Love Conquers All**

Autumn walked into Duncan's apartment; it was quiet and empty. She was thankful for that; at least she didn't have to explain right away why she was back early. She put her things back in Duncan's room and sat on the couch. 

“Maybe I should've stayed? Maybe he was being honest? Maybe...” her voice trailed off as she heard voices coming in. 

“No really....” Duncan said then stopped as he saw Autumn. “Autumn? What are you doing back so soon?” he questioned as he and Methos walked into the apartment. 

“I missed you way too much to stay away any longer.” 

“Yeah, right. What happened?” Methos asked. 

“I didn't get into any trouble. I just ran into a guy I use to know and well, things got pretty intense so I left,” she said. 

“You mean you ran away,” Methos said. 

“I didn't run away,” she said defensively. 

“Of course you didn't,” Duncan said softly. 

“I'm going to take a shower. Um, what would you guys like for dinner?” she asked. 

“We've already eaten, but there's some leftovers in the fridge if you're hungry,” Duncan said. 

“Yeah, I bet they've been in there since before I left huh?” she said. 

“Well, not all of them, just some,” Duncan said as she went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. 

  
“Amanda? What are you doing here and who's your friend?” Duncan asked as he answered the door. 

“Is Autumn here?” Amanda asked. 

“Yeah, she's in the bathroom,” he said as Nick and Amanda walked in. 

“Thank god. Duncan this is Nick,” Amanda said. 

“Hi,” Duncan said. 

“Hey, Duncan, you're out of shampoo....” Autumn started, but lost her voice when she saw Nick. “Nick. What are you doing here?” she asked. 

“To see you?” 

“I suppose I have you to thank for this?” she said to Amanda. 

“Well, I couldn't help it. You two are just so damn cute together,” she said with a smile. 

“Yeah, right. Amanda, why couldn't you just leave it alone? Nick, you're wasting your time here,” she said as she went back into the bathroom. 

“Autumn, you can't stay in there forever,” Amanda said through the door. 

“Is he still here?” she asked. 

“Yes I am, and I'm not going anywhere,” he said. 

“Then I'm not coming back out,” she said childishly. 

“Fine, then you leave me no choice,” Amanda said as she picked the lock and opened the door. 

Autumn turned around and starred at Amanda. 

“Now you two are going to talk while the rest of us go to Joe's for a few drinks. Call me when you two have made up,” she said as she, Duncan, and Methos left the apartment. 

“She's right you know. We do have to talk,” Nick said. 

“I know,” she said with a heavy sigh. “I'm sorry I ran out on you. I got scared.” 

“I know. I'm scared too. We have a lot of years of hurt to get past, but together we'll get through them,” he said as he took her hand. 

“Nick, I think...” her voice trailed off. 

“I know I love you.” He kissed her softly. 

“Really?” she asked. 

“Yes, really. You silly woman, I wouldn't have came half across the globe if I didn't love you,” he said as he kissed her again this time with more passion than before. His hands went to her face and her hands went to his shoulders. He took the towel off of her as she took his shirt off of him. The feel of his skin against hers was all she needed to make her forget everything else. He picked her up and brought her to the couch where they made love. 

  
“You know, Duncan is going to have a cow if he finds us like this on his couch,” Autumn said as she lay wrapped in Nick's arms. 

“No, I don't think he will. I think he'll be happy that we're not fighting. At least we didn't break anything,” h said as they both laughed. He caressed her arm with his hand. 

“Yeah,” she said with a small laugh. “I know I love you Nick. I can't believe what a fool I was to leave you when I did.” 

“It's okay you were scared; I was to, but I had nowhere left to go. You have always been with me. Never once did you leave me.” 

“Even when you were with other women?” she asked. 

“Yeah, especially then,” he said. 

“Good,” she said as she closed her eyes. 

Soon they both fell into a deep sleep. 

“I can't believe you did it on my couch.” Autumn heard the next morning. She knew that voice. 

“Aww, Duncan, at least they didn't break anything,” Amanda said. 

“Yeah, that's true. At least she's happy,” he said. 

“Yes, I am. Very much so.” 

“Good afternoon,” Nick said as he brought over a glass of juice. 

“Good afternoon to you too,” she said. 

Finally, they were exactly where they belonged. She smiled up at his face and for once she saw her future in his eyes. 

**The End**

* * *

© 2001   
Please send comments to the author! 

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